Post Departing Depression

It’s been a few weeks since my father’s funeral or “home going celebration”, which I feel is a much more apt title. The emotional strain has been taxing, and as I’ve come to realize, depression, especially following the death of a loved one, is as real a state of being just as love, fear, or pain.

The stigma associated with the word ‘depression’ is crazy. Though associated quite often with a weakened mental state of being, I’ve found that usually the opposite is true because in order to maintain sanity one must process and think through their respective emotions, and our unique experiences produce various emotional states in every person’s life.

From my perspective growing up in the African-American community if you talked about or admitted to being depressed, then you were either mentally handicapped or considered weak. These thoughts are still within me and even though I have studied psychology and sociology as part of my doctorate, I feel it’s alright to be sad about the death of my father… but depressed is another story. This mixed bag of emotions has prompted me to write this blog so that I can process through this time of life and move on. Maybe reading this too will help somebody else to work through their altered emotional state and return to normal.

Depression and stress are two of the most prominent emotional states of being for most Americans and their families. If one person in the family is suffering with depression or stress, then the other family members are affected. In one manner or another whoever is in an altered emotional state affects their relationships within their family, their workforce, and possibly all their acquaintances. Disproportionately African-Americans suffer as a result of poor skills to process through unhealthy emotional states. We as a people have found alternative and mostly unhealthy methods to deal with depression and stress.

After observing and witnessing people in altered emotional states during my twenty seven years of practice, I have complied a list of some of the unhealthy ways I have seen to process through stress, fear, pain and/or depression:

• Alcoholism
• Drug abuse
• Excess consumption of unhealthy foods (high fat and sugar content)
• Sedimentary habits (less physical exertion); like watching TV and just sitting for hours and eating or drinking
• Suicide, self-abuse, or verbal and/or physical abuse of others.
• Murder and lawlessness

Conversely, here are some healthy ways we can process though emotions:

• Diet control – eating more vegetables and less processed foods
• Joining organized physical activities and competitions (e.g., church socials, bowling leagues, etc.)
• Drinking coffee (it is a stimulant) and drink less alcohol or lighter (less strong) beverages.
• Eat less starches at night and no white sugar; cleaning out processed sugars from your diet will elevate your mood without leading to diabetes or spikes in blood glucose.
• No drug abuse; drug usage disrupts physical and mental physiology, especially before the age of twenty five.
• Worship, prayer and meditation aid in proper mental and spiritual balance, lending to mental and physical stability.
• Fun physical hobbies (fishing, tennis, basketball, golf, etc.) produce natural and good feelings as recreation is a necessary part of a healthy lifestyle.

Since the death of my father I have worked on being self-motivated and adjusting to disciplining myself to exercising regularly, getting outside, going to church and praying for more discipline, drinking less alcohol and avoiding sodas, red meat, and fried foods.

The “Real Deal” on the mental states of being is something all communities need to focus on in our schools and churches. All types of healthcare professionals need to focus on life skills to educate and raise the consciousness of the public, especially our youth. The ills of stress and depression continue to wreak havoc on generations of unsuspecting people, while pharmaceutical companies rack up millions of dollars in drug production and distribution of pills with medicines meant to not cure us. The answers to finding cures are not going to be found in a bottle, but in alternative life practices combined with some type of specific pharmaceutical regiment; thereby allowing the most severe of cases to return to as near normal as possible.

I feel another major factor in abnormal states of consciousness has a lot to do with time utilization and time management. Learning how to be productive and positively utilizing the time you are granted is a life-long challenge. However, becoming knowledgeable about the decision making process of time management is an endeavor worth its work. Deciding first and foremost what is best for oneself is without a doubt a difficult challenge. Learning how to decide what is best for oneself is another matter. With good and knowledgeable help from those in your social circle, and with determination and will power, you can force nature to relinquish its negative hold on your life. Mental and physical exercise must be practiced regularly and honed into a regiment for success; focusing on the horizon of positive result will counter sublimed discontent. Willpower can supersede all emotional mental states resulting in fulfilled expectations, thereby resulting in self-satisfaction, which produces a state of euphoria.

Making the choice to be mentally and physically healthy is a challenge and the results are worth the effort. I remember my father saying, “It’s not what happens, but how you react to it. In the end you make your own heaven or hell right here on earth.”

 

Dr. Zeb F. Poindexter III

 

http://www.PoindexterDental.com

 

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